By Michael Hamad
2:26 PM EST, February 1, 2013
Jon Campbell, who briefly made Hartford a more interesting place with his presence and reporting for the Advocate, has entered the homebrew game with his signature Unemployed Reporter Porter (pictured).
"Porter style beers were first popularized in the nineteenth century by merchant sailors and manual dock laborers," the label reads. "Unemployed Reporter is crafted in the same tradition, honoring a profession likewise doomed to decline and irrelevance."
For this new class of "expendables," the label goes on, "we've included chocolate and roasted barley malts that are as dark and bitter as the future of American journalism, and a high alcohol content designed to numb the pain of a slow, inexorable march toward obsolescence. While Unemployed Reporter is especially delicious as a breakfast beer, it's still smooth enough to be enjoyed all day, every day. And let's be honest: what else do you have going on?"
URP's government warning label even manages to squeeze in a few choice digs at the industry: "(1) The Surgeon General says women shouldn't drink alcohol during pregnancy, but between Gawker and the Huffington Post, hasn't the act of procreation itself become a moral liability? (2) Drinking alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car, but it's not like you have to wake up and drive to work tomorrow so fuck it."
No mention yet of where you can purchase URP (we'll let you know as soon as we find out). But it's damn good to see Campbell's kept himself busy. We miss you, man. Drop by anytime. (Bring beer.)
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