"I ate cat vomit," declared weatherman Scot Haney on WFSB's morning newscast, adding, "right here on television!" Minutes earlier, the Hartford station's on-air banter had gotten a little weird when Haney spotted what he thought was Grape-Nuts cereal left on the studio floor and couldn't resist grabbing a handful and stuffing it in his mouth. "A little soggy," the man-baby forecaster said, as his colleagues looked on with bafflement and waited for the station's traffic map to load. After a commercial break, Haney appeared holding his shoe, sharing his epiphany that he had stepped in his cat's upchuck and dragged all the way to work. "I thought it was Grape-Nuts because it looked just like it," he explained. "My cat threw up and I must have stepped in it and that's what I ate!" Haney would not — for the love of God — stop, and took the substance into his palm and held it up to the camera, whining, "It's in pieces right here! I thought it was Grape-Nuts!" Come back, Geoff Fox; you're not such a weirdo and all is forgiven.
Sylvia Mitchell should have seen this coming. The 39-year-old professional psychic from, appropriately enough, Mystic was convicted of fraud and grand larceny for charging her clients enormous sums to dispel negative energy and correct past-life grievances, reports The Day. Mitchell, a.k.a. "Zena Clairvoyant," who at one point had a shop in Greenwich Village, counseled a dance instructor who had lost her boyfriend and job. Mitchell reportedly told her she was too attached to riches in a previous life, which could be remedied by handing Mitchell $27,000 (which she did). Mitchell was also visited by an investment banker who had a workplace crush. Mitchell allegedly told her that, in a past life, her family had harmed the object of her affection and that is why he didn't return her feelings. She charged $120,000 to remove the negative energy. Emboldened, the banker pursued her colleague and was fired for harassment.
After his girlfriend's son got into a school-yard fight, Herberto Lugo of New Britain nailed the stepdad audition by allegedly trying to run over the other boy with his car. The kid had apparently sold a skateboard to Lugo's girlfriend's son, who found it defective and tried to return it, leading to the fight. Lugo and his girlfriend came to the boys' elementary school to sort things out. Tensions apparently escalated until Lugo, 53, got into his car and tried to mow down the little punk. He chased him through a football field where other kids were practicing, police told the New Britain Herald. (No one was hurt.)
Terrell Gantt walked into a Stop & Shop in Fairfield wearing a heavy jacket and what was obvious to a store manager as one baggy pair of pants over another. He then allegedly began stuffing merchandise into his get-up. Battery packs, lotions and razors reportedly fell out as he continued walking around the store. Police were waiting outside for Gantt when the manager asked them to come in and put an end to the embarrassing display. Though Gantt, 32, denied shoplifting, police say they found $408 worth of household items on him, reports the Fairfield Citizen.
Grandma and Grandpa Are Ballers: A routine traffic stop in Westport allegedly uncovered evidence of a sophisticated drug operation in the vehicle of 73-year-old Thomas Michael Howard and 65-year-old Nora Clark. Police told the Westport News that the Colorado couple was traveling with a Hunter S. Thompson-worthy trunk load of 144 prescription pills, more than two pounds of marijuana, a few containers of liquified cannabis, a load of hashish, a grinder, some smoking pipes and $4,131 in cash. (Hey, you try living off Social Security.)
Connecticut's Least Responsible Gun Owners: After an argument with the mother of his child, Julio Levy of Hartford apparently tried to underscore the points he had made by shooting a pistol into the air through the sunroof of his BMW as he drove off, reports the Hartford Courant. (No one was injured.) Meanwhile, a Stamford man was dismantling his semiautomatic handgun and did not realize a bullet was in the chamber, reports the Stamford Advocate. It was blasted through his palm before landing in his bedroom wall.
Several Milford residents opened what appeared to be a mailer from Home Depot to find a single pornographic photo of a woman. The Connecticut Post reports that the mysterious envelopes had the store's logo and the return address of the Home Depot and were sent bulk rate.
Wayne Tullis allegedly knocked on the door of a woman living in a retirement home in Hamden and asked to use the bathroom. Police told the New Haven Register that Tullis, 50, emerged from the bathroom "20 minutes later, naked and laughing." The 84-year-old resident reports being "traumatized."