By Nick Keppler
11:20 AM EDT, September 17, 2013
The divorce case of perennial candidate Lee Whitnum has taken yet another odd turn. Whitnum, a 53-year-old Greenwich woman who received only a handful votes in each of her biennial campaigns for office, was briefly married to a man 25 years her senior. He apparently filed for divorce but Whitnum claims the filings were a conspiracy on the part of his children and his retirement home. She was arrested in April for alleged trespass into the facility. Recently, Judge Jane Emons, who was overseeing the divorce, told police that Whitnum called her home at 2:30 a.m. After Emons hung up, Whitnum allegedly called back and ranted to Emons' husband and then made a call to their son, who lives out of state. Though charged with stalking, Whitnum says she only wanted to speak to Emons "woman to woman." The Stamford Advocate reports that there was subsequently some confusion in court. Because one party had been ordered to stay away from the judge, the case was transferred from the Bridgeport Superior Court to the one in Stamford. Whitnum was not present when the new judge granted the divorce.
The insufferable youngsters who will someday be the overlords of the human race have returned to Yale, but missing from campus: squirrels. Students have noted an absence of the bushy-tailed critters around New Haven, reports the Huffington Post. Some guessed that last winter's blizzard wiped them out, while one student speculated, "It appears that the administration paid to have all the squirrels on campus killed over the summer." (That is a real quote.) Even though the school was a training ground for such mass annihilators as Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, Yale would never decimate the local squirrel population, a university press secretary told the HuffPo. He stated, "Yale has no squirrel extermination program." (That is also a real quote!)
In 1804, Vice President Aaron Burr killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel over honor and reputation. It doesn't take as much, apparently, to get a Middletown resident also named Aaron Burr to reach for a gun. Police told the Middletown Press that a maintenance worker entered Burr's apartment to fix a leaky toilet. He walked past Burr, 24, who seemed high, he later told police. Burr allegedly then called the building's administrative office and threatened to point a gun at the next handyman to enter, adding "[T]he next person to enter will shit their pants because there will be a gun to their head." Police reportedly found a small arsenal of guns in Burr's apartment.
A man named Shykwon Supreme Sunchild was doing the kind of thing you would expect a man named Shykwon Supreme Sunchild to be doing when he apparently climbed on top of a Dollar Store in New Haven and attempted to break in via a roof hatch. Sunchild, 31, might have made off with several tens of dollars worth of merchandise had bystanders not contacted police. When confronted, Sunchild tried to climb down on a drain pump but slipped, police told WTNH. He was not injured and was arrested on burglary and criminal mischief charges.
Rhonda Moniz-Carroll, Hartford's deputy director of public works, definitely did not take good stewardship over one piece of municipal property: the city-owned Ford Escape she drunkenly drove into another vehicle, according to police. With glassy eyes and slurred speech, Moniz-Carroll, 53, staggered away from the wreckage and asked officers, "Do you know who I am?" several times after she was arrested, police told the Hartford Courant. (Mayor Pedro Segarra immediately fired her.)
A 17-year-old Fairfield Prep student was feeling especially asshole-ish as he and his classmates awaited a train at the Fairfield train station. He called MetroNorth's hotline several times to ask when it would arrive and on the final call, said he "might as well jump in front of a train" because of the sluggish service. This prompted police to swarm the station, reports the Connecticut Post. Ironically, it also caused a halt to all train traffic, meaning his train was even more delayed.
Odd thefts: Lamont Corey allegedly walked out of a Darien Stop & Shop with eight unpaid-for cases of beer, reports the Darien Times. The total haul was six 18-packs of Coors Light and two 18-packs of Corona, for a total of 144 beers. Also, someone entered New London's Waterfront Park overnight and stole 24 American flags (displayed in preparation for the Connecticut Schooner Festival), reports The Day.
Jean Yves LeConte cannot stop masturbating in department stores. The 25-year-old Bridgeport man has already completed accelerated probation for incidents of stroking it in a Marshalls and Kohls, reports the Connecticut Post. Three years after those arrests, a woman shopping at a T.J. Maxx in Fairfield felt something brush up against her leg and turned around to see LeConte and his schlong, according to police.
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