Crime & Punishment: Woman accused of third DUI goes to court drunk

"I stand here today speaking to the person responsible for this," Alexandra Pennell said to a rally gathered in response to anti-gay messages slipped beneath the door of her dorm room at Central Connecticut State University, "and all I have to say is I'm not going to be run out of my home and I will not be intimidated by hate." Pennell, a 19-year-old openly gay student, didn't have to look far for the culprit. Police were suspicious of the eight notes she turned in and put two cameras outside her door, one she knew about and the other she did not. The second camera reportedly caught Pennell disabling the first and dropping the notes herself. She later confessed, saying she did it because her roommate was not spending enough time with her, reports the Hartford Courant. (She's been arrested on tampering charges and expelled from the school.) Still, we'll count this as a win for equality as it proves a lesbian can act as crazy and clingy as heterosexual women do.

Sick, Sad World: Robert Brennan of Durham apparently could not afford a hotel room for himself and his two kids, ages 8 and 11, when they visited New Hampshire, but he could afford plenty of booze. In fact, 46-year-old Brennan, whose family was sleeping inside his truck parked outside a Sheraton, had his daughter breath into the breathalyzer lock device installed on his ignition so he could drive to a liquor store for more hooch, police told the Manchester TV station WMUR. (One of these kids is definitely going to grow up to recount this whole experience in a one-man or one-woman show.)

A surveillance camera caught a man driving into the skate park outside Rampage Skate Shop, which the Bridgeport company leaves open to skaters, and then stealing a ramp. (Rampage uploaded the video onto YouTube to solicit help identifying the thief.) If and when he's caught, he's already sentenced to a lifetime of embarrassment: The footage shows him hitting himself in the head with the ramp as he lifts it into his pickup truck (hard enough to knock him to the ground).

As residents of a Branford apartment complex stood outside to watch a fireworks display, 19-year-old Michael Stokes allegedly saw an opportunity to break into an apartment. But before he could complete the crime, Stokes, who had been drinking that day, stumbled off the second-story balcony of the apartment he was burglarizing and fell 40 feet, police told the New Haven Register.

"Zach has been with Starbucks for 1 year," stated a sign in a New Haven outpost of the coffee chain/beacon of yuppie comfort. "Did you know he applied 27 times in order to get a job here?" The note was meant to explain why Zach was named "employee of the quarter," but the blog of MSNBC's "Rachel Maddow Show" noted it for what it was: the most depressing economic indicator ever. (Also, why would a random customer "know" that?)

The Barnes family of Ridgefield garnered some harsh YouTube comments beneath a vacation video showing their daughter, age 5, swimming with sharks on a beach in the Bahamas. Experts at the Maritime and Mystic aquariums declined to tell WTNH that it was definitely unsafe. One polite mother the station interviewed offered this perspective: "To each his own, but I would prefer to keep my kids out of the water with sharks if I can."

Accused of third-time drunken driving, Lori A. Meduri of Warren allegedly did prosecutors one solid by coming to court drunk. During the preceding, a Bantam Superior Court judge found reason to have Meduri tested for drunkenness and she was found to have a blood-alcohol level of 0.247 percent while in court, according to the Republican-American of Waterbury. (She subsequently pleaded guilty.)

Innovative parent Philip Prokop allegedly paid a 17-year-old girl $21 to beat up another girl, age 13, who was bullying his daughter. The showdown reportedly happened at a Shelton diner, and Prokop, 42, allegedly stopped a bystander from interceding. (Prokop denied the charge to WTNH, saying, "It just doesn't make any sense.")

Three friends were hanging around a Stamford apartment when one of them, 24-year-old Martin Valey-Cruz, allegedly got upset over the music being played by the apartment renter and stabbed him twice in the head, reports the Stamford Advocate.

A Fairfield woman called Animal Control about a frantic-sounding bird trapped in one of her home's bedrooms, according to the Connecticut news website DoingItLocal.com. Officers opened the door to find an alarm clock programmed to wake someone with tweeting noises.