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Crime & Punishment: "If There Weren't Four Other Cops Here, I'd Beat the Shit Out of You"
According to a Pentagon report, 19,000 sexual assaults occur in the military each year. A seemingly insane Quinnipiac University professor says all those broads practically asked for it. "What do you expect to happen when women are put among men trained to be fighters?" asked Peter Cortland, an associate professor of English, in a jaw-dropping letter published in the New Haven Register. "The military is not a college liberal club. It is not intended to promote sociability." Cortland adds that we should "not imagine the women are innocent. They know why they are there — why they were put there — to seduce and degrade the military." Cortland, who unbelievably has a PhD from Syracuse and teaches at an institution of higher learning, claims "liberals are fixated on 1930s Spain and imagine the military is plotting a coup, so they want to mislead and disarm it," hence their nefarious plan to sabotage the armed forces with vaginas. Professor, we award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
By Nick Keppler
June 11, 2013