http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/?track=rss Headlines from WCCT en ©2013, WCCT Wed, 15 May 2013 09:30:00 -0400 By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht20savage-20130516,0,2777845.story?track=rss I have a mentally disabled cousin who I haven't figured out how to help. He's lived for more than 40 years in the same nursing home in a small, conservative town. His mental age is about 8, there are other mental-illness issues, and he has some physical problems. He is now in his late 60s. He has always enjoyed dressing up as a woman, but given that he's in a Christian nursing home, he must keep it fairly secret. He doesn't want to move from his home of so many years. He periodically calls me to tell me about a dress he's purchased or his monthly therapy sessions where he's permitted to dress up, and I'm uncomfortable with the sexual vibe of the conversations. I would like him to have a sexual outlet, but one that doesn't involve me. Any ideas? Wed, 15 May 2013 09:30:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht19-savagelove-20130509,0,3718395.story?track=rss I'm a 24-year-old straight, married female. I have been religiously reading your column in the Portland Mercury since I was 16. Thank you for explaining things that my parents wouldn't and for helping me clear the hurdles of adolescence! Wed, 8 May 2013 12:35:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht18savage-20130502,0,1659134.story?track=rss I am a 23-year-old straight male. My ex-girlfriend and I started dating in high school, when we were both 17, and continued dating until I broke up with her the summer after our freshman year in college because things felt too serious. We continued to have sex, but I blocked out all my feelings for her, while she was open about still wanting to be with me. She started dating someone else sophomore year. I realized then that I still wanted to be with her, and I broke down emotionally and made both our lives difficult while she was dating this new guy. I was a very unattractive person then. Wed, 1 May 2013 06:00:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht17savage-20130425,0,872705.story?track=rss Dear Readers: Last week was made of problems. The bombing of the Boston Marathon, the explosion that leveled a small town in Texas, the rising tide of antigay violence in France, the North Koreans being North Korean. And when I sat down to write this week's column — while the manhunt was still under way for the second bomber in Boston — it occurred to me that the last thing the world needs right now is more problems. So instead of the usual sex problems, STI problems, CPOS problems, and DTMFA problems, this week I'm only running letters from people who don't really have problems. Because we could all use a break. Wed, 24 Apr 2013 06:00:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht16savage-20130418,0,7889659.story?track=rss I am uncircumcised, and the opening at the end of my foreskin is not large enough for the head of my penis to pass through. This means my foreskin doesn't pull back when I get an erection. The internet says this is a condition called "phimosis," and a lot of medical websites recommend circumcision. I'm not super-excited by that idea. I don't have any pain or difficulty with sex or urination, and I've never had any health problems related to being uncircumcised. The foreskin isn't stuck or fused to the glans — the hole is just small. Is there a safe, nonsurgical way to enlarge the opening in the foreskin? Wed, 17 Apr 2013 06:00:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht15-savage-0411-20130411,0,1931434.story?track=rss I'm a gay man who has been seeing a devout Christian gay guy for one year. We have a great relationship. We have many of the same interests and respect each other's feelings and beliefs. However, I am a Catholic who is not that religious, and he is an Orthodox Christian. Wed, 10 Apr 2013 06:00:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht14-savage-0404-20130404,0,1800365.story?track=rss I am trying to understand some sexual fantasies I have. They involve having sex with a woman who has a penis. Sometimes I fantasize that my wife grew a penis. The fantasies started when we first tried pegging a few years ago. We recently had our first child and can no longer find the time for such kinky sex. These transsexual fantasies have caused a large strain in our relationship, and I don't understand why I am having them or what I should do about them. I do not want to engage in a relationship with another person, I just want to know if it's normal to have these fantasies. Wed, 3 Apr 2013 13:30:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht13-savagelove-0328-20130328,0,6961657.story?track=rss My brother is 22 years old and mentally ill with social anxiety on the scale of agoraphobia (officially diagnosed). He's made significant progress in the past few years, but he's stuck on the fact that he's a virgin and is convinced that he's not going to make any real social progress until that's no longer a fact. His particular problem makes it impossible to reason with him — he's a little Asperger's-y — and he is convinced that he will only be able to pursue a job, have a social life, and tackle other obstacles after he loses his virginity. Financially, it would be easy for me to drive him to Nevada and eliminate the virginity issue. He's asked our mom to do so. My family isn't hung up on "purity" where sex and virginity are concerned, so we're open to this. I don't have any illusions that this will solve his problems, but my mom and I are hopeful that it would eliminate an excuse that's keeping him from taking positive steps forward. Should I offer to take him? Or force him to sort it out on his own despite his crippling social issues? Wed, 27 Mar 2013 10:05:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht12savage-20130321,0,3171056.story?track=rss Dear readers: I'm off this week. To tide all of your hot and/or kinky and/or sore asses over, here's a column I wrote 15 years ago. Some newer readers might've missed this column when it originally appeared — some of you who were still in grade school, diapers, or amniotic sacs back in 1998 — so I'm rerunning it now because I still get questions about "gerbiling" on a daily basis. — Dan Wed, 20 Mar 2013 11:35:00 EDT By Dan Savage http://www.ct.com/entertainment/savage-love/nm-ht11savage-20130314,0,2188017.story?track=rss I'm an actor in New York City. A lot of people think actors are whores, but last week I almost became one. I responded to a casting call for a film project called Sniff. The ad — on Playbill's website — called for two male actors to film a short scene. The pay was $100 for a day's work. I was e-mailed the scene to study. It starts with two male roommates chatting on a couch. The bigger, more muscular roommate confronts the smaller, scrawnier roommate about his obsession with socks. Two pages later, the smaller roommate is being ordered to sniff, lick, and caress the larger roommate's feet. The scene ends with the smaller roommate being forced to hold the bigger roommate's big toes in the corners of his mouth while smiling for the camera. Write a screenplay and hire actors — is this something foot fetishists do to make low-budget softcore porn? I'm not a hater of fetishists, but it is a little strange to see something like this in a casting ad. Wed, 13 Mar 2013 06:00:00 EDT