By Alison Geisler
5:00 PM EDT, April 24, 2013
When Austen and I set out to do these spicy food challenges, we were hoping to explore spicy options nearby and maybe push ourselves a little bit. What happened yesterday was like a shove off the spice-threshhold cliff into a lake of lava. Don't get me wrong, we enjoyed ourselves (trust me), but neither of us had eaten anything like the Dew Drop Inn's Suicide Wings, and both of us are still recovering more than 24 hours later.
The folks at the Dew Drop Inn personally challenged us to their tournament-style Suicide Wing Challenge, and obviously Austen and I said "Heck yeah!" immediately. I don't regret the decision but I would never do this again unless someone is offering me a butt-load of money. Or unless I run out of excitement in my life.
We started out strong. For like, a minute. These wings were slathered in Suicide sauce. (A sauce so spicy that you need to wear gloves and a mask while making it, and cleaning up after it.) From there until the end it was cumulative burn and pain, involuntary tears, full-body sweats and a throat burn I didn't even know was possible. The bread/butter and celery/bleu cheese did help, but not much, and not for very long. Beer also helped dull the burn, but after each sip it came back on full force. While I won't spoil for you how far we got, I will say that it took a few slices of American cheese, a couple Coors Lights, and a grilled cheese before my mouth stopped burning. My lips took another couple hours after that to calm down. And then there's the rest of my body, which, I don't need to go into details over.
Despite the warzone in our mouths, the Dew Drop Inn itself is a pretty awesome little bar out of the way of New Haven's often-rambunctious nightlife scene. They've got a selection of craft beer taps that'll satisfy those who like Prime 16 and Cask Republic and other bars who focus on the real stuff. And while they were actively enjoying torturing us, the folks running that place are wicked nice and really love what they do. (Bartender Leah let us sample a couple of her mixed drink concoctions, she must be a wizard or something.) I'm definitely going back there to try more wing flavors (of normal or at least tolerable spice levels).
I want to thank my boyfriend Steve for playing camerman, and having the balls to stand that close to the plate of wings (everyone else purposefully kept a safe distance). Thanks to Jay and Chris at the Dew Drop for the challenge, and hospitality. Thanks to the saddest episode of "Bones" ever, playing in the background, for reminding me that even if my mouth is fire, there's always TV.
Here are some pictures of the wings and the aftermath:
Globs and globs of sauce.
These beers helped us more than they'll ever know.
Me cooling my still-burning lips after we threw in the towel. I wanted the closest thing to water they had in a bottle.
By the end of the challenge, we were both red-faced and our eyes were bloodshot. Wrong kind of high, officer.
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for:
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