This Guy Should Be the Next Pope

Right now Cardinals from around the world are meeting at a conclave to get high on thurible smoke and rock out to that “Our God is an Awesome God” song over and over.  Then when that’s done, they’ll hold a Mortal Kombat tournament to determine the new Pope.  Oh, don’t let the liberal media fool you, that’s how the process works.   Anyway, they are down to 20 Pope finalists, but my favorite is Luis Antonio “Chito” Tagle of the Philippines.  He’s one of the youngest candidates at 55, he’s got a huge following on social media, he’s funny, and he was voted the “least worst” candidate when it comes to covering up sex abuse.  (True story.)  He’s Asian, which is nice what with China taking over the world and all.  And he sings!  Here’s him singing a song called “You and I,” which sadly is not a Lady Gaga cover.  Plus he speaks 5 languages, so as the mouthpiece of God, he’ll save God a fortune on Rosetta Stone DVDs.  More, from NBC News:

By Tom Z

March 12, 2013