By Tom Z
1:07 PM EST, December 18, 2012
This week, a Texas court begins hearing the case of a high school student who is suing her school over whether she can be forced to wear a location-tracking ID badge. The 15-year old student believes that the badge is a violation of her privacy. Oh, it gets better. She claims that the ID badge’s frequency tracking tag is “the mark of the beast,” and is being used by Satan to track her whereabouts. Her parents are on board with the lawsuit. Did I mention this was in Texas? From NPR:
Steven Hernandez says his daughter was alarmed this summer when John Jay High School in San Antonio informed families that new IDs would include the chips, which would help the school know electronically if the student was on campus.
"And she says, 'Daddy, I'm not going to do this.' And I said, 'Why aren't you going to do this, honey?' She says, 'Dad, that's exactly what it talks about in the Book of Revelation that you were teaching us about taking the mark of the beast. This is the exact same thing,'" Hernandez says.
A lot of people think that our country is moving further away from God and closer to Satan. This is why. Cause God sucks at technology. The AntiChrist is using the latest tracking chips to keep tabs on his subjects. He’s always just a click away from locating them and filling their souls with a supply of unending darkness. Satan has set up his own Evil Foursquare. Meanwhile God is resting on His laurels, trusting in “human decency,” which went the way of the Betamax back in ’72. You know God still owns a flipphone? It’s true. And it’s not just God, it’s His people, too. The Pope is God’s publicist, and yet he just joined Twitter last week. Unacceptable. Satan’s been on Twitter since 2007. If the Pope worked for Justin Bieber he would have fired years ago. Some advocates are pushing to get God back into the classroom. I say, let’s get Him on 4G.
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