| Advertisement |
|
|
A 16-year old girl in Rocklin, CA was prohibited from using the Internet after 10pm by her parents. So she did what any teenager would do. She and a friend put sleep medication in a milkshake, drugged the parents, waited until they passed out, then went crazy on the interwebs. More on the decline of the American Empire, from The Guardian:
According to police, the parents thought the shakes had an odd taste and stopped drinking them. An hour later, the parents were asleep, and the girls were able to use the internet as they pleased.
The parents reported hangover-like symptoms when waking up at about 1am, and again in the morning. Unsure why, they bought a $5 drug testing kit at the local police station to test themselves. When the results came up positive, they returned to the police station with their daughter.
First off, this is a family of Internet Explorer users, I guarantee it. Secondly, I know to an outsider it seems harsh to try and murder your parents just because they took away your Internet access. But you don't understand. Buzzfeed was running a list of 21 Cats That Look Like Kim Kardashian. That's can’t miss viewing! And lastly, you know there are programs that restrict Internet use automatically, right? It would be ironic and Twilight Zone-esque if the girl signed on to her computer, parents lying dead in a pool of vomit behind her, only to see that devastating Enter Password pop-up as ominous “DUN-DUN-DUNNN” music played in the background. You just got M. Night Shyamalaned, bitch!
Follow @thefaketomz on Twitter