In the wake of the Colorado shooting, many people are asking the important questions, like “how do we prevent this sort of thing from happening again?” or “why are psychos able to buy riot gear?” Nah, I’m just kidding, they’re asking pointless questions like, “Where was God during all of this?” Well, CNN’s resident religious expert tried to answer those questions yesterday in this article titled “7 Answers to ‘Where Was God in Aurora?’” Here’s an excerpt:
Probably the most common response from Christian commenters was that evil is a result of free will. Do we really want to be “puppets” or “robots"? Of course not. So God has given us the will to choose either evil or good.
Yeah. Listen, man, God is not a micromanager. He hires good people, and then he sits back and lets them do their work. In the case of James Holmes, we should be blaming the employee for doing a bad job. Also I guess we need to blame God for hiring so many shitty employees. To be honest, God’s talent acquisition skills are pretty terrible. Then again, his background is more in marketing and fundraising, not so much in management. I tried to tell God not to lie on his resume, but he was all like, “relax, I got this, bro.” Now he’s dodging my texts. I’m not trying to rub it in, God, I just want to see how you’re doing.