By Tom Z
11:17 AM EDT, September 14, 2012
You ever see that movie Limitless? No? It’s that movie with Bradley Cooper, where gets takes these pills to give him… Bradley Cooper… you know, that guy from the Hangover. No, not the one from The Office. The good-looking guy. Still nothing? Alright, well anyway, scientists have created a brand of nootropics, or “smart drugs,” that are designed to create superior human beings by regulating the brain’s neuron synapses in order to achieve maximum levels of neurotransmitters… Dude, this would be a lot easier if you had seen Limitless. Just picture a drug that makes you Superman. Now read this:
In the US, racetams and certain other nootropics can only be sold as research chemicals, not for human consumption. Despite this fact, many companies still market their wares as supplements on various merchant sites such as Amazon and Ebay and as the FDA shuts one down two more pop up. Other companies have relabeled their products as research chemicals in an effort to sidestep the FDA’s jurisdiction. On the customer’s side, it is completely legal to order and possess any amount of racetams if ordered domestically, and up to a three month supply (as defined by Customs) if ordered from overseas.
Too bad being smart has little to do with success. The smartest kid in my high school had an 85 average because he preferred listening to Queensryche albums over doing homework. I have a few friends who are studying to be doctors, and don’t get me wrong, they’re bright, but they succeed because they do 30-shifts and spend countless hours reading up on biology, not because their neuron synapses are blocked by a reversible acetylcholinesterase inhibitor. If scientists want to make better human beings, they need to invent a drug that inspires people to work harder and never rest on their laurels. I’m not sure how those drugs would work, but I assume when you take them, an Asian father would appear and scream, “WHY YOU NO GET PERFECT SCORE?!?!?!??!?!?!?”
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