A lot of people waited in line for hours to cast their ballots yesterday, but their determination was trumped by one old man from Michigan. The man, who has yet to be named, was attempting to fill out his ballot when he fell to the floor. Onlookers rushed to help, and then this happened:
"He was dead," [bystander Ty] Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."
What happened next astounded Houston and the victim's wife.
"The first question he asked was 'Did I vote?'"
The man finished voting before being taken to a local hospital. I don’t know the medical expertise of these bystanders, so I can’t be sure whether this guy would have officially been ruled dead by a doctor, but either way, what an impressive story. This shows me two things. One, the willpower of the American people can never be beaten. And two, that Puff Daddy is a total liar. He told me I had to Vote Or Die, but it turns out you can do both. Now I’m starting to question everything Puffy has ever told me. Maybe it’s NOT all about the Benjamins, baby.