Singer Jewel, who apparently is releasing an album of children’s songs, also for some reason has written a song about Walmart. No, it’s not an anti-establishment, pro-living wage song like you’re thinking, it’s more of a “roses are red, violets are blue, I love Walmart and you should too!” type of corporate-shilling little ditty. Some are calling this the best corporate whoring track since that guy who reworked U2’s “One” for Bank of America. Alright, only I’m calling it that. But it’s pretty fantastic, if you’re into songs about everyday products at discount prices.
Two things. One, keep in mind that Jewel used to live in her car, so for her Walmart is probably considered luxury shopping. It’s not that much different than P. Diddy rapping about Jacob the Jeweler. Two, is there really that much difference between commercial jingles and pop music anymore? Thanks to technology, commercial jingles keep getting catchier and easier to produce. Meanwhile Clearchannel has reduced pop music to a series of generic, sound-alike rhythms. Turn on the radio today and you can barely tell what songs are songs and what songs are commercials. The other day I was driving and a new song came on, and I was like, “Is this the new Foo Fighters?” “No, wait, it’s Executive Honda.”