Instead of highlighting a recent news story like I usually do in this blog, I’d like to take a moment this Fourth of July to remind everyone that, despite its flaws, America is still the greatest country in the history of mankind. Oh sure, we’re constantly divided by our opinions, and we have an enormous gap between the rich and the poor, and we’re the fattest country on Earth, and our edukation be not good. But still, there’s not a country on the planet whose citizens possess the same overpowering desire to innovate, create and succeed. China can’t hold a candle to our creativity. Europeans take siestas and watch soccer while their economy is crumbling. And don’t get me started on those damn Canadians. America might not be perfect, but other countries are way more not perfect. We still strive to uphold the high standards of our Founding Fathers. We offer everyone the glorious freedoms stated in our Constitution. We’re a melting pot of diversity where anyone is welcome to follow their dreams. We take random people on YouTube and turn them into multi-millionaires. We invented the iPhone and put Pizza Hut and Taco Bell in the same store. Our lives are so good that we can spend $200 million to see The Amazing Spiderman, even though we all saw the same exact movie ten years ago. We continue to set the standard for the rest of the free world. And most importantly, we’re the nation that produced Megan Fox and Kate Upton. So suck on that, Bin Laden’s corpse. Like the great Joe Esposito once said, we’re the best around, and nothing’s gonna ever keep us down. Happy Fourth of July everyone! America, fuck yeah!
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