To pass the time between waterboarding sessions and anal rapings, prisoners at Guantanamo Bay have traditionally been able to enjoy a wide collection of books and videos from the prison library. But you’d never guess what’s become the most popular form of entertainment down there. Actually, you probably would guess. Because it’s right in the headline. If you can’t guess, you’re clearly not paying attention. Which upsets me, cause I put a lot of work into these posts, and if you’re not going to give it your full attention, well, I guess maybe you weren’t good enough for me in the first place. Why are you such a jerk, man?
“I just ordered all six seasons,” says librarian Milton, a Defense Department contractor.
He offered no explanation for the sudden popularity of the half-hour sit-com about an inner-city Philadelphia kid who moves in with his affluent cousins in California beyond the observation that comedy is widely popular among requested items from the detention center’s 28,000 book and video library.
If you’re keeping score at home, Guantanamo prisoners are watching “The Fresh Prince” and Americans are reading “50 Shades of Grey.” Meaning Guantanamo prisoners officially have better taste than Americans. I’ve said for years, if we can just make all Middle Easterners watch American TV, we’ll get rid of terrorists in a generation. Forget predator drones, we should be dropping DVDs. “They tell us that females should be covered up, but this woman from ‘Modern Family,’ I find her both beautiful and humorous. Allah, YOU HAVE LIED TO ME!!!”