Usually when you see a local news site talking about a danger to teens, it’s something comically wrong and out-of-date. Like for example, they’ll report about the dangers of emo music, in 2013. But I found this new report from CBS Philadelphia about teens texting in their sleep to be very intriguing. It’s not that they are staying up late to text. They are literally asleep while sending and receiving texts. Like a sleep-eater, except thinner and more pathetic.
“It’s just what you’d think it is, it’s texting while asleep,” says Elizabeth Dowdell, nursing professor at Villanova University.
“The phone will beep, they’ll answer the text,” Dowdell says. “They’ll either respond in words or gibberish. (It) can even be inappropriate. Ex-girlfriends contacting ex-boyfriends, saying ‘I miss you. I want to see you.’ The thing that happens, though, is that when they wake up, there’s no memory.”
There’s a simple explanation for all of this. When I was in college, I used to get 3AM phone calls all the time. Then when I turned 24 and finally got a cell phone, those calls turned to texts. Why so many voicemails and text? It was my drunk friends sending me messages about how I was a pussy for leaving the bar so early. So relax. Our teenagers aren’t addicted to their cell phones. They’re just raging alcoholics.