The Internet Has Caused a "Narcissism Epidemic"

Any fool could tell you that the Internet has led to an increase in narcissism.  But today’s your lucky day, because I’M telling you.  Which is great for you, since I’M the best and everything I say is awesome.  Me me me.  Additionally, the Atlantic has a new article citing scientific studies that narcissism is on the rise.  But whatever.  Let’s focus on me here.

George W. Bush is One Expensive Ex-President

A commission has tallied up how much America spends annually on its ex-Presidents, and George W. Bush tops the charts by costing taxpayers $1.3 million a year.  Bill Clinton is next at $1 million, followed by Original George Bush and Jimmy...

Some Guy is Trying to Murder Justin Bieber

A few months ago, police uncovered a plot by convicted murderer Dana Martin to kill pop star Justin Bieber.  Martin, who is currently serving a life sentence for the murder of a 15-year old girl, enlisted the help of a fellow prisoner to...

Cheating Husband Billboard Goes Viral

After discovering that her husband was cheating on her, a North Carolina woman rented a billboard calling out her...

The Next Big Business Could Be Commercial Exoskeletons

Anyone who’s seen Forrest Gump knows that humans have been capable of exoskeleton technology for quite some time.  Of course the equipment wasn’t very good; it still took an iron will and a girl with AIDS screaming your name...

1 in 50 Kids Are Autistic (Maybe)

Republicans Are Too Old and White

There's a Petition to Replace America's National Anthem With R. Kelly

Women Lie on Facebook All the Time

The headline pretty much says it all.  A new study has found that women lie repeatedly on Facebook, and that over a quarter of women post a lie at least once a month.  Wait, so are you saying my friend Sarah isn’t really the Mayor...

This Guy Should Be the Next Pope

Right now Cardinals from around the world are meeting at a conclave to get high on thurible smoke and rock out to that “Our God is an Awesome God” song over and over.  Then when that’s done, they’ll hold a Mortal Kombat...

Achieving a Work-Life Balance is Hard

It appears the debate over work-life balance is heating up once again. First former Lehman Brothers CFO Erin Callan wrote this article entitled “Is There Life After Work?” for the New York Times, then 60 Minutes aired a segment in which...

Taylor Swift Wants Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to Go to Hell

As a straight man in my 30s, I fall into zero of the demographics that the Golden Globes is aimed for, so I obviously didn’t watch the show, but apparently hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler made a joke about Taylor Swift staying away from...

China Airs Coverage of Execution on Live Television

The 44-year old Burmese drug lord Naw Kham and three of his drug lord buddies were convicted of violently murdering 13 Chinese fishermen in October 2011. The incident, since dubbed the “Mekong River Massacre,” occurred when Kham and his...

Groupon CEO's Resignation Letter Goes Viral

Groupon CEO Andrew Mason was terminated on Thursday of last week, which isn’t a huge shock considering the company’s declining value. What is interesting is Mason’s goodbye letter to the company. In a world of publicists...

Americans Drink Too Much

Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg Tell Kids to Learn Coding

The website Code.org has put together a new video urging young kids to learn how to code. The video features celebrities such as Chris Bosh and Will.I.Am, as well as tech entrepreneurs like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg. It explains the importance...

U.S. High School Graduation Rate Should Reach 90% By 2020

If you listen to all the teacher-bashing and talk of at-risk youth, you’d think that half our students were dropping out to live in dumpsters or join kickball leagues. But as it turns out, the U.S. high school graduation rate is on pace to...

White House Press Secretary Was Told Not To Speak About Drones

Robert Gibbs, the former White House Press Secretary, has revealed that when he joined President Obama’s administration, he was told not to acknowledge the President’s drone program. Gibbs made this shocking revelation on MSNBC’s...

New York School Gives Out Racist Homework

A New York public school is in trouble for handing out an assignment known as “Slavery Word Problems Homework,” which, as you can probably guess, included some questions that many parents found troubling. In fairness to the school, this...

Al Qaeda Tried to Poison Our Face Cream

UK authorities have just convicted three Al Qaeda operatives of plotting suicide attacks. During the trial and interrogation process, they learned about a number of new strategies that Al Qaeda was planning to use against the western world. Among...

Burger King Gained 30% More Twitter Followers After Being Hacked

Burger King’s Twitter account was hacked for about an hour on Monday, during which time the hackers sent out jokes about the company being sold to McDonald’s and its employees doing drugs. It was a total disaster for Burger King, except...

Chubby Checker Sues Over Penis-Measuring App

Chubby Checker, famous for “The Twist” and... umm... other great hits, has filed a $500 million lawsuit against Hewlett Packard and Palm, Inc. over one of the company’s new apps, called, you guessed it, “The Chubby Checker.&...

According to Studies, Kids Are the Worst

NY Magazine has a new article titled, “All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting.” The headline caught my attention because A) it’s incredibly sensationalistic, and B) I was unaware that so many parents had such...

This 5th Grader is on the Varsity Basketball Team

This weekend’s New York Times features the amazing story of Orlando...

The Damaged Carnival Cruise Ship Has Landed

Young Voters Trying to Make a Difference at the Local Level

The best place to live is either a liberal town in a conservative state, or a conservative town in a liberal state. You get the best of both worlds in terms of policy, and the feeling of being an outcast gives you plenty of material for your Tumblr...

A New Trend Among Teens is "Sleep-Texting"

Usually when you see a local news site talking about a danger to teens, it’s something comically wrong and out-of-date. Like for example, they’ll report about the dangers of emo music, in 2013. But I found this new report from CBS...

They're Making Holograms of Holocaust Survivors

When you think of holograms, you probably think of the Tupac hologram at Coachella, or those shitty hologram baseball cards they used to sell a long time ago. But now, the University of Southern California and a design firm named Conscience Display...

The Pope Retires

Pope Benedict XVI has unexpectedly resigned, citing “advanced age” as the reason. Benedict, who is 85 years old, is the first Pope to retire in nearly 600 years. He blamed his deteriorating body and mind for the decision, leading many...

Work Less, Save the Planet

The Center of Economic Policy and Research has come up with a solution to global warming: Stop working. You see, the less we work, the less time we spent in the office, which means less electricity, lighting and heating, which equals Earth saved. It&...

Someone on Craigslist Wants to Make Hartford the Swinger Capital of the Northeast

One of the benefits of having a 9% unemployment rate is that we get a lot of funny stuff on the Internet. For example, this Craigslist ad urging Hartford residents to...

Rapper Calls Kanye West "Half a F*g"

Rapper Lord Jamar, who you may recognize from nothing ever, has now gained slight notoriety after releasing a homophobic diss track about Kanye West. The lyric in question is a reference to Kanye wearing a skirt during the Hurricane Sandy relief...

Woman Pulls Gun at Newington Chuck E. Cheese

The Cause of the Super Bowl Power Outage is a Mystery

The Baltimore Ravens won the Super Bowl last night, but the big story was the 34-minute power outage that left viewers confused and annoyed. No, it wasn’t another hurricane or secret viral marketing for “Downton Abbey.” As it...

It's Bad Times For Fishermen in New England

New England has a rich history of fishing, and even in this technologically-advanced age, a lot of people still depend on fishing as a main source of both food and income. The problem is that marine populations are being decimated by overfishing....

Video Games Are Worse Than Guns Now

You know, we haven’t had a mass shooting in nearly 18 hours, so there’s no better time for someone to come out and say that guns are harmless and that video games are society’s real culprit. Fortunately Tennessee Senator Lamar...

Drunk Sleep is Not As Good As Sober Sleep

Scientists, whose job is apparently to ruin all fun, have confirmed that alcohol-induced sleep is less satisfying than regular sleep. From the BBC:

Lack of Sleep Causes Memory Loss

These days, when everyone is pretending to be busy all the time, and 5 Hour Energy makes billions in profit by selling liquid cocaine, you might think that sleep is no longer of the utmost importance. But as it turns out, sleep is more than just a...

Young People Are Living in Micro-Apartments, Closets, Laundry Rooms

Even though the economy is beginning to recover, times are still tough for many out there, especially graduating college students. These kids are leaving school with no jobs and mountains of debt. And to survive, some of them have been forced to take...

Women in the Army Can Now See Combat

Yesterday, America took a giant stride toward gender equality by allowing military women to serve in combat. The order was signed yesterday by Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, and could provide over 230,000 jobs to women. This does not mean that the...

The Number of Stay-at-Home Dads is Growing

If you watch commercials, which most people over 40 do, you’d think that all guys are complete buffoons. They’re drinking watered-down light beer, spilling milk all over the kitchen floor and wondering how human beings can ever save for...

Humans Remember More From Their Twenties Than Any Other Time in Their Life

Slate has an interesting new article about 20-somethings. Turns out we remember more from our twenties than from any other decade of our lives. Why? The answer remains a mystery to scientists. Yet clearly the twenties are the pinnacle of our lives,...

Obama's Inauguration Crashed Twitter

Obama’s inauguration yesterday saw a million people show up at the Washington mall, but it was even more popular on Twitter, where mass tweeting caused the site to break. Twitter buckled under intense traffic and was out of commission most of...

Watch This Bulgarian Politician Fight Off an Assassination Attempt

Ahmed Dogan, leader of Bulgaria’s Liberal Movement For Rights and Freedoms, was attacked by a 25-year old gunman while giving a press conference over the weekend. The gunman, armed with a gas pistol and two knives, stormed the stage and tried...

Lance Armstrong Lies a Lot

Let me begin by saying that I’m biased, because I think that raising $500 million dollars for cancer research makes up for someone cheating at bike riding. But clearly I’m in the minority, because a lot of people are furious over Lance...

Manti Te'o Catfished America

If you haven’t read the Manti Te’o story on Deadspin.com yet, I...

Entrepreneurs Use Their Brains Differently Than Everyone Else

Most entrepreneurs believe they were born to branch out on their own, and now there’s some proof that may be true. Turns out the entrepreneurial mindset is literally a mindset. I.E., their brain function is different from regular...

Why Don't People Go on Dates Anymore?

Is the age of proper dating over? That's the question posed by the New York Times in a new article

The More You Hate Your Job, the More You Hate Mondays

A new Gallup poll reveals some intriguing facts about Americans and their relationship with their careers. Namely, 4 out of 5 people hate their job:

Couple Gets Married in the Nude

The thing about weddings is, they’re all the same. Once in awhile you get a destination wedding, or somebody lets their friend’s band play the reception, or someone’s grandfather gets too drunk and starts yelling racist slurs...

Restaurant Customer Leaves Anti-Obama Note Instead of Tip

The note you see above was left by a restaurant customer in lieu of a tip, then posted to Reddit, where it quickly became a viral...

Congress is Less Popular Than Nickelback

Congress is known for egotism, obstruction, selfishness and general malaise, so it’s no surprise that their approval rating is very low. But now, thanks to the fine folks at Public Polling Policy, we can finally put into words exactly how low....

Polaroid is Opening a Store Where People Can Print Digital Photos

Polaroid filed for bankruptcy a few years back, and the company has been in financial trouble for the entire 21st century. So, they figured it was time to try something new. The corporation will be opening a series of Fotobar stores, where...

Teenager Arrested After He Posts About Driving Drunk on Facebook

18-year old Oregon resident Jacob Cox-Brown landed himself in jail on New Year’s Day, thanks to a Facebook post about his activities the previous night. That’s his status update above. If you can’t read it for some reason, here&...

Teenager Drugs Her Parents So She Can Use the Internet

A 16-year old girl in Rocklin, CA was prohibited from using the Internet after 10pm by her parents. So she did what any teenager would do. She and a friend put sleep medication in a milkshake, drugged the parents, waited until they passed out, then...

Ray Kurzweil Shares His Reasons to Be Optimistic in 2013

Ray Kurzweil is an author and technology expert whose seemingly crazy predictions have been proven correct time and time again. He also inspired my favorite Our Lady Peace CD with his book Spiritual Machines. In college I gave a book report on...

Senator Says No One Cares About Kwanzaa, Calls it a Divisive Holiday

Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman is no fan of Kwanzaa. In a recent press release, the lawmaker claimed that the holiday was meant to divide America, and that the only people who care about the celebration are whiny liberals. Here are a couple...

Good-Looking Assistant Fired For Being "Irresistible"

Melissa Nelson, a dental assistant in Iowa, was recently fired. Why, you ask? Because her male boss found her “irresistible.” The boss, James Knight, claimed that Nelson and her good looks represented a threat to his marriage. That’...

Watch How This Factory Makes 16,000 Candy Canes a Day

Ben Affleck May Be Running For Senate

Ben Affleck appeared in Washington yesterday to meet with Hillary Clinton and John Kerry about violence in the Congo. Affleck is founder of the Eastern Congo Initiative, which seeks to curb the massive number of killings in that country (5 million in...

Do Video Games Make Kids More Violent?

I’m not going to get into the Newtown shooting, since it’s still a very touchy subject, and speaking with elegance or tact has never been my forte. However I’d like to address the new accusation that video games like Call of Duty...

Texas Student Sues School, Claiming ID Badge is the "Mark of the Beast"

This week, a Texas court begins hearing the case of a high school student who is suing her school over whether she can be forced to wear a location-tracking ID badge. The 15-year old student believes that the badge is a violation of her privacy. Oh,...

More People Will Soon Get Their News From the Internet Than From TV

The Internet has always been the go-to source to see videos of people dumping milk on their head or read staunch opinions from uneducated idiots. Now it’s quickly becoming the go-to source for news. Italy already relies more heavily on the...

Newspapers Are Losing Popularity, But They Still Have Power

It will come as no shock that newspapers are losing their reach, seeing subscription numbers and advertising revenue decline by the day. However, newspapers still hold a lot of power. This was never clearer than during the controversy over the NY...

Social Media is Now a College Major

What would you rather do, talk to your friends on Twitter, or do homework? Trick question. Those are now the same thing, thanks to Newberry College in South Carolina, which is offering Social Media as a major for incoming students. And, with the...

Man Has 90 Plastic Surgeries to Become "Human Ken Doll"

New York City resident Justin Jedlica is a real-life Ken Doll. Jedlica has had 90 plastic surgeries and spent $100,000 over 10 years, transforming nearly every part of his body in order to achieve the perfect physique. He has even called his body...

Pizza Hut is Releasing a Cologne

FCC Wants to Changes In-Flight Cell Phone Rules

Julius Genachowski, the Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, wants airlines to reconsider their rules regarding use of electronic devices during a flight. In a letter to the Federal Aviation Administration, Genachowski stated that...

The Newest Hipster Activity: Hunting

Penn State Sorority in Trouble For Racially Insensitive Photo

The Chi Omega Nu Gamma sorority at Penn State University (CONG?) is drawing scrutiny for a recent picture. The photo, above, was taken during a theme party and posted to Facebook. Now it’s gone viral, and not in a good way like Gangnam Style or...

Single People Deserve to Have Weddings Too, Says a Single Person

North Korea Discovers Magical "Unicorn Lair"

North Korea never ceases to entertain, and this time they've really outdone themselves.  North Korean archaeologists have discovered a unicorn lair dating back to the Koryo Kingdom of 918 A.D.  How do they know that unicorns live inside...

New Website Lets You Hire a Fake Girlfriend For $5

Are you desperate to make others believe that women desire you? Do you have five dollars? Well then you can hire a fake girlfriend to text you, post messages on your Facebook account and make it seem like you’re not a total loser! But wait,...

The More Friends You Have on Facebook, the More Stressed Out You'll Be

A new report by the University of Edinburgh Business School in the U.K. finds that having more Facebook friends leads to a more stressful life. Why? Well, basically, having such a diverse network of friends and family members in one place drastically...

The Popemobile is Available For Rental

Gays Sue Over "Conversion Therapy"

When young Sheldon Bruck told his parents he was gay, they sent him to JONAH, or Jews Offering New Alternatives for Healing, a “conversion therapy” camp that attempts to help people struggling with “unwanted same-sex attractions.&...

What Happens to the Soul After You Die?

There's been a lot of talk recently about near-death experiences and the afterlife. Perhaps the most prominent case was the doctor whose near-death experience landed him on the cover of Newsweek, but there are many others in scientific and medical...

Andrew W.K. Named Cultural Ambassador to the Middle East

In an effort to improve American-Middle Eastern relations, the U.S. Department of State has invited musician Andrew W.K. to travel to Bahrain as a cultural ambassador. W.K. will visit schools and other locations to promote "partying and world peace."...

We're All Going To Die, Part 53: Airport Security

According to a new article in Business Week, all of those metal detectors, pat downs and body scans are slowly killing us. In...

Newark Mayor Corey Booker is Going to Live Off Food Stamps

“America’s Mayor” Corey Booker of Newark, New Jersey is once again making headlines for being a man of the people. After a Twitter user challenged Booker on the government’s role in feeding the poor, Booker offered up his...

Hostess is Shutting Down Its Operations Because of a Union Strike

Hostess, the company that makes Twinkies, Devil Dogs, Wonderbread, and a bunch of other stuff that is terrible for you, has filed for bankruptcy. The company will close its operations, shut down hundreds of locations worldwide and put 18,500 people...