By Gregory B. Hladky
4:40 PM EDT, April 11, 2013
The winter snows (we hope) are gone and summer’s just around the corner, so it must be that semi-dangerous time of year for one of Connecticut’s biggest and baddest birds.
Yep, Connecticut’s Spring Wild Turkey Hunting Season will be kicking off on April 24 and running through May 25.
The term “semi-dangerous” was used deliberately. It seems the odds of a wild turkey surviving this particular hunting season are pretty good.
In 2012, according to the state’s count, there are between 35,000 and 38,000 wild turkeys in Connecticut. But during last year’s spring hunting season, it took a total of 8,615 Connecticut hunters to bag just 1,364 “bearded turkeys.”
Leaving aside the question of what happens to the turkeys that prefer to shave, it would seem those bearded bastards ain’t going down easy. By my count, we needed more than six hunters to kill a single gobbler.
All I can say is, it’s a good thing Connecticut has banned more assault-type rifles. If those turkeys ever got a hold of some high-powered weaponry, I’m afraid the hunters would be in real trouble.
Connecticut’s Department of Energy and Environmental Protection also offered some very good (if rather unpatriotic) advice to hunters going in search of these elusive birds.
“Eliminate the colors red, white and blue from your hunting outfit. These colors are associated with a gobbler’s head and [you] could be mistaken as a turkey.”
Not only are these turkeys apparently hard as hell to gun down, now they’re keeping our guys from heading into the woods in their Uncle Sam colors.
Oh, the horror. The horror.
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