11:27 AM EDT, July 6, 2010
First of all, I'm not. Having a second child. Someday, yes - absolutely, I want at least one more child - but for now I am happily a mother to one toddler without another on the way.
But it's something that I think about a lot, partly because once you enter this club called parenthood, well, kids are a popular subject. We, as parents, make this decision (or stumble into this reality) to have more children, as parents have been doing since the dawn of time.
Before I had a baby I never imagined that the timing of subsequent children would be something I'd think about at all. But you guys know how it goes. You experience those fond memories of holding a newborn, somehow glossing over the whole sleeplessness situation. Or, you know, that day that you were wearing your red hoodie for, like, the seventh day in a row and you found that very depressing.
Maybe your friends start having more children and it seems like it would be a good idea to keep up. To go through it all together. Or maybe you simply always imagined your children would be exactly one, three or five years apart, because that's how it was when you were growing up and it was great! Or it was horrible! Let's not do it that way!
I'm of two totally different but equally passionate minds on this, one day thinking that I cannot wait to be pregnant again, just absolutely can't wait! The next day I'm all, "You know what? Let's give this four or five years. I am loving life with my one adorable child and want it to be exactly like this for as long as possible."
Age is, of course, another factor for mothers if you're going the traditional pregnancy route. I'm 32. Not the youngest mother on the block by any means, but I certainly feel that I have ample childbearing years ahead.
There's a lot to think about and, for me, thinking about it isn't such an attractive prospect. I'm a pretty big non-planner when it comes to life events (which, believe me, has its pros and cons) and the thought of discussing the timing of a second child with my husband, when we're not sure what the next year may bring in terms of job prospects and whatever else, sounds like an awful way to spend an evening. I mean, it's hot out. How about margaritas and mindless television instead?
For those of you who are raising children now, or who have raised your children, how did you make these decisions, and how did the age separation between your children work out? For those of you who haven't had children yet, do you have a specific plan?